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Twoofus’s profile »

got my first Apple product in 2005. A white iPod nano, with an inscription on the back. I liked it. It didn’t really store much, but it was enough for me. I could listen to my favorite music whenever I wanted, and no one could fucking stop me. The bus rides to and from school were no longer unbearable, they were actually quite enjoyable.

My iPod was one of the things I brought with me when I moved away from home. It provided me with melodies while I walked to university, and kept me from going insane during class. Life was wonderful. But I had one tiny problem…

I was starting to get sick of the music on my iPod. I’d downloaded a bunch of new tunes on my laptop (yeah, free music – sue me) and I desperately needed to sync the iPod so that I could start listening to my *new* favorite songs in class. But the computer I’d used originally was still at home, and to make things even worse – it had crashed. I didn’t want to lose the music that was already on my iPod so I decided to copy it to my laptop.

Now, I hadn’t synced it in a while so I was kind of nervous (for no good reason, I’m just a worrier), thinking to myself that something was wrong. I plugged it in, and waited for my computer to make that cute sound and for iTunes to pop up – but nothing happened. I unplugged it, and plugged it back in, in case it wasn’t done properly the first time. I waited. Nothing.

This is when I started getting really worried. Copying the music from the iPod to my laptop would be easy, but it was kind of important that the device was plugged in first, and right now the laptop just couldn’t recognize it. I did what any other “malfunctioning Apple product” owner would do – I Googled it.

It turns out the problem I was having was very, very common. “My PC won’t recognize my iPod” – I saw similar titles everywhere. Some people suggested the iPod was just low on battery, and that leaving the iPod plugged in for a while would help, but my iPod was fully charged. Charging it wasn’t a problem at all, it was just this damn Apple/PC dispute that was messing things up.

Another suggestion was to toggle the “hold” switch to make sure it wasn’t stuck or on, and then reset the iPod. I tried, and it didn’t make any difference at all. After several PC reboots and iPod toggle/resets later with no results at all, I was close to giving up. I went to Apple’s website and downloaded the latest version of iTunes. Surprisingly enough, that didn’t work either. This shit was starting to piss me off, and I couldn’t help but to violently loathe my iPod and all other Apple products out there. A dimwit that suggested fixing the problem by buying a Mac made me want to kill someone.

A few hours later I gave up. I couldn’t deal with it anymore, it was too frustrating. I figured I could just listen to the songs on the iPod that I still liked, and maybe buying a new mp3 player if I really wanted to bring the new music to class. But I was done with the iPod.

The next day I was back to my old ways, searching for useful suggestions on the Internet. I came upon a site where a bunch of people had written lots of crap. I read through every single shitstain of a comment until I found what I was looking for. The answer was right in front of me, why didn’t I think of that before? The stupid CD, I could just reinstall the damn thing! Easy! I was going home that weekend anyway so I could pick up the CD and fix the problem once and for all. What I failed to remember, however, was that my mom had just moved, and all my stuff was in boxes. To make a short story even shorter, I went home without the CD.

So I listened to the old music until my iPod ran out of battery. Then it went into one of the pockets of my bag and stayed there for a few weeks, until I felt like playing around with it a little bit more. I plugged it into my computer, and to my surprise the damn thing lit up! The computer didn’t make yummy noises and my iPod didn’t say “do not disconnect”, but it lit up and started charging. I waited a few minutes in case it would change its mind and connect to the computer after all, but it just went black. I unplugged it and toggled the “hold” switch, and reset it. And this time something actually happened. But it wasn’t exactly what I had expected.

An icon showed up on the screen. It looked like a dead iPod. No, really, it did. I’d never seen anything like that before, so I decided to get back on the Internet and Google it. I found a wonderful article written by a former Mac Genius, where he described my exact problem, and how he fixed it. It turns out he dropped his Fourth Generation iPod from the third floor twice, and it fixed itself. It would die after an hour and he’d have to reset it to get it to work again, but the drop did fix it … so I thought maybe I should try it, too. I threw the device hard on the floor a couple of times, and then tried turning it on, but it wouldn’t work. I read the entire article again. I noticed some new stuff. I got inspired. I was going to fix my iPod.

I used a knife to force open the iPod. Yeah, you heard me. I forced it open. I think it cracked a little, it definitely squeaked a lot. I had no idea what to do next. The damn thing was lying there staring at me with its green eyes and cables and whatnot. I poked it a little with my finger. Then I got bored and drew on the battery with a red permanent marker. I pushed the two pieces back together and tried turning it on. It didn’t work. I thought to myself “well, if it wasn’t dead before, it definitely is now”. Another meeting with the floor, a couple of rounds with the table, nothing helped. “One last date with the computer won’t hurt,” I thought, and plugged it in. I couldn’t believe what happened next.

The shitty bastard started charging again. I seriously could not believe it. I thought it was completely destroyed after my permanent marker & finger poke incidents, but it was like nothing had happened. The battery was extremely low so I let it charge for a few minutes, while doing random stuff online. A strange noise suddenly caught my attention. My laptop had recognized a new removable storage device. I looked at my iPod. The screen showed the words “do not connect”. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Torturing the iPod had actually worked! I was fucking ecstatic. The iPod was fixed!

All the old music is on my computer now. I had a few problems with syncing the iPod at first, but I fixed those, too. The stuff I actually WANTED on my iPod was there now, and it worked. It worked! I think I accidentally loosened the bottom where the charger thing goes when I opened it, so I’ll have to make sure not to move the iPod around too much while it’s plugged in or it’ll disconnect, but other than that it’s like having a brand new mp3 player. I still can’t believe that shit worked, but I’m glad it did. So yeah, there you have it. It might not be the most convenient way to fix an iPod, but it works. At least it did for me. And for the guy who wrote that article…..


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